jeffyboy
I'm just....me...DEAL WITH IT! :P
Jokes
There are times in life when you just need a joke or two. I have some good ones, here are a few. Please leave a comment if you liked them or want to add some more (if you do leave a joke, please no rasist ones)!
~~4 Sons~~
One day 4 bisness men were on a golf day and were bragging about there sons.
The first man goes...
"My son is a sucessful realistate agent. For his friends birthday he got him a beautiful mansion up in the hills."
The second man goes...
"Well, my son is a sucessful car salesman. And for his friends birthday, he got him a brand new porshe and a brand new BMW."
The third man goes...
"Yeah? Well, my son is a sucessful stock broker. And for his friends birthday got him a great stock portfolio that is granteed to make thousands."
The forth man, after hearing all this goes...
"Well, I just found out my son is gay." The other men go...
"Oh, man thats too good."
Then the forth man smiles and says...
"Well, I guess that he is pretty sucessful. His last three boyfriends got him a new house, 2 new cars and a great stock portfolio."
~~Bar Vampire~~ (Dirty)
A vampire walks into a bar. He goes up to the bartender and asks for a cup of hot water. The bartened gets him the water, then asks, "Hey, bub. What's with the hot water?" The vampire pulls out a used tampon and says, "I'm having tea!"
~~Excution~~ (Blonde Joke)
A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are about to be excuted gun-down style. The redhead goes up first. She is asked for any last words, she says no. Then the general goes, "Ready, Aim.." Then the redhead goes "EARTHQUAKE!" Everyone looks around and she escapes.
The brunette goes up next. She has no last words either. Then the general goes "Ready, Aim..." Then the brunette goes "TORNADO!" Everyone looks around and she escapes. Now, the blonde, catching on to all this is up next. No last words. The general goes, "Ready, Aim..." Then the blonde yells, "FIRE!"
~~Redneck Ventriloquist~~
This ventriloquist goes around from club to club with his dummy, bagging on rednecks most of the time. Till one night he is down in Tennessee, in a club. Halfway through one of his redneck jokes, this huge guys stands up and goes, "Us rednecks ain't as stupid as you think!" The ventriloquist starts to apoligize, then the redneck interupts him and yells, "I'm not talking to you, I'm talking to the asshole on your knee!"
Yeah...so you guys like!?! Leave some more if ya wanna!
~~4 Sons~~
One day 4 bisness men were on a golf day and were bragging about there sons.
The first man goes...
"My son is a sucessful realistate agent. For his friends birthday he got him a beautiful mansion up in the hills."
The second man goes...
"Well, my son is a sucessful car salesman. And for his friends birthday, he got him a brand new porshe and a brand new BMW."
The third man goes...
"Yeah? Well, my son is a sucessful stock broker. And for his friends birthday got him a great stock portfolio that is granteed to make thousands."
The forth man, after hearing all this goes...
"Well, I just found out my son is gay." The other men go...
"Oh, man thats too good."
Then the forth man smiles and says...
"Well, I guess that he is pretty sucessful. His last three boyfriends got him a new house, 2 new cars and a great stock portfolio."
~~Bar Vampire~~ (Dirty)
A vampire walks into a bar. He goes up to the bartender and asks for a cup of hot water. The bartened gets him the water, then asks, "Hey, bub. What's with the hot water?" The vampire pulls out a used tampon and says, "I'm having tea!"
~~Excution~~ (Blonde Joke)
A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are about to be excuted gun-down style. The redhead goes up first. She is asked for any last words, she says no. Then the general goes, "Ready, Aim.." Then the redhead goes "EARTHQUAKE!" Everyone looks around and she escapes.
The brunette goes up next. She has no last words either. Then the general goes "Ready, Aim..." Then the brunette goes "TORNADO!" Everyone looks around and she escapes. Now, the blonde, catching on to all this is up next. No last words. The general goes, "Ready, Aim..." Then the blonde yells, "FIRE!"
~~Redneck Ventriloquist~~
This ventriloquist goes around from club to club with his dummy, bagging on rednecks most of the time. Till one night he is down in Tennessee, in a club. Halfway through one of his redneck jokes, this huge guys stands up and goes, "Us rednecks ain't as stupid as you think!" The ventriloquist starts to apoligize, then the redneck interupts him and yells, "I'm not talking to you, I'm talking to the asshole on your knee!"
Yeah...so you guys like!?! Leave some more if ya wanna!
ME!
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